Beautiful things. How can I count them?
First of all, I went to Nebraska last weekend. And got to learn from a lovely lady from Austin. Jen Hatmaker. Delightful. Challenging. Hilarious with a purpose. You know how women's retreats are often just a gushy cry fest structured to get women to make some commitments, do something girly, and then go back to their lives full of energy and vigor? The reality of what happens is you walk back into a dirty house with still-dirty heaps of laundry and all the "work" you thought you accomplished during the retreat is lost and you find yourself weighed down with the very burdens you decided to shake off at the retreat-in-the-beautiful-woodsy-lodge-away-from-all-your-cares.
This was no such retreat.
It was structured to change you. Really change you. To challenge you and stretch you out of your comfort zone. I could write and write and write about what I learned and how I was challenged, but I'm pretty sure it wouldn't make a lot of sense to you and where you're at. One thing I learned. Be His disciple. He will change you. There's not a one-liner that any author or speaker can give you that will set your course straight like time with Him will. The rest falls into place after that. That is something God has been teaching me gently and beautifully over this past month. When life gets messy, emotions run high, and circumstances challenge and threaten to knock us off-course, One Thing doesn't change. I can choose to focus on my problems, or I can choose to focus on Him and allow my problems to mold me and shape me into something I could have never been without them. Ugh, it may all sound trite, but it's not. That's the beauty of life's tapestry. He has gifts and desires and courses for each of us that will make us more like Him. When we pray for change, He will do it. When we pray to go deeper, He will take us there. But there can be pain involved. that should probably read 'there will be pain involved'.
But, to go back to the way things were seems silly...
Okay, I'm pretty sure I'm rambling. I am not going to go back and re-read this post for fear of wanting to change everything and going too long and not getting in my shower before J wakes up from his nap. Sweet little babbling and pointing and grunting J. :)
Anyway. If I could sum up the beauty of the past few weeks, it would be this.
"He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand." Psalm 40:2.
I am not ever one to be "secretive" or "read-between-the-lines" with my worries, but this is what He has done. What only He could do. I prayed for Him to reveal the dark spots of my heart to me and He did. Not to test me, not to point out my flaws to me, but to shed some light on areas I didn't know were dark. To show me where I'm at so I know where to go. Thank you God for your goodness towards us.
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