Franciscan Prayer

We heard this yesterday at a church service, and loved it~! It's a Franciscan Prayer, just thought I would share.

May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.

May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain into joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.

Lessons Learned...

No, this article isn't about Carrie Underwood. Although, I did have a dream that she wanted to be my friend. Matt was pretty excited about that prospect. Anyway, after reading this article (flash flood warning!) and watching friends go through some extremely difficult circumstances, I've been reflecting on what I've learned this past year. It amazes me how quickly life changes and what horrible experiences can teach you, if you let them. This is what this year has taught me... or more precisely, this is what God has taught me through this year...

1. Life is precious and God is sovereign. Period. Whether life exists only in the womb, 2 days or 90 years, each life is precious and planned by God. He knows our days, nothing is out of His control. Too many times I think I've equated sovereignty with wrath, but that's not at all what it is. Of course I struggle with the fact that horrible things still happen, but I know that my viewpoint on them is extremely limited, and that someday I'll be able to see things the way He does. That doesn't mean I can't grieve and I can't feel things, I'm created to do so; it does mean that my circumstances cannot shatter my world and cannot take away my reason for living.

2. I can't know complete joy this side of heaven. I've struggled with this for awhile, and admitting that is actually really freeing. I have a personality that wants everyone to be happy. I've hidden tears from my husband so that he won't feel sad. I've answered "how are you?" with "great!" too many times because I didn't want people to be burdened with my sorrow. But, let's face it, it is impossible for me to feel true and complete joy in this earth. Here has been my path of happiness:
"Once I'm out of high school, I'll be happy... once I'm married, I'll be happy... once I'm teaching, I'll be happy... If only I could go back to college, then I'd be happy... once my house is decorated the way I want it to be, I'll be happy... once we have kids, then I'll be happy... if only we could buy a new car, then I'd be happy..." And, it never ends! As long as I'm searching for joy outside of the One who created it and embodies it, it's going to leave me searching and wanting more. Of course I see glimpses of joy, I am not a depressed zombie walking around because "I just can't be happy here...". I find joy in being wife, but not all the time. I find joy in being a mom, but not all the time. I find joy in my firendships, but not all the time. The glimpses of joy I get here are just that: a tiny speck of the joy that I'll know someday.

3. God's plan is bigger than me and my family. I know, shocking. He's allowing me to be a part of His plan. In an article I read for my Perspectives class, the author made the point that we focus so much on individual faith in America. What God's plan is for me, what He wants for my life. We say, "God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life." But, he challenged that by saying, "God loves His Son and has a perfect plan for His life, and He loves me enough to let me be a part of it." Oh, if only I could always see things this way!!

If you've read my blog for any amount of time, you know that my preaching is now done and I probably won't post anything deep like this for another, oh, 3 months. :) I hope that what He's taught me can somehow be used in your life too.

And, to end it, a few verses that have described this past year perfectly... Psalm 139:1-18

You have searched me, LORD, and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue, you, LORD, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book 

before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand—
   when I awake, I am still with you.

Instead of Facebook...

Recently, I've realized the upheaval that can come from posting about controversial things on Facebook. I know it might seem wimpy to post something on my blog that most people don't read, but I just have to say something.

I've been having a hard time with the celebration surrounding Osama Bin Laden's death. I get it. He was a horrible man. He did horrible things. He was an anti-Christ and opposed everything I believe in. But. I still can't celebrate his death, I just can't bring myself to do it. I know the hurt that exists for people who have lost loved ones in the war on terror. This doesn't solve the problem, though. Human nature says that someone must pay, and we're mistaken if we think that person is Bin Laden.

It's a sobering reality to recognize God as the Ultimate Judge and to know that someday I will stand before Him, a complete wretch who is relying fully on the grace given me by Christ's redemption. I'm just as much a mess as everyone else.  It's also a sobering reality to know that someone has already paid for the sins of the world. To know that no horrible deed goes unnoticed and we live under the sovereignty of God, whether we accept that or not.

One of the names of God that I've come to love is that he is the Ancient of Days spoken of in Daniel 7. He gives authority, He is the judge and His Kingdom will not end!

Daniel 7:9-10 and 13-14--

"Thrones were set in place, and the Ancient of Days took his seat.
His clothing was as white as snow; the hair of his head was white like wool.
His throne was flaming with fire, and its wheels were all ablaze.
A river of fire was flowing, coming out from before him.
Thousands upon thousands attended him; ten thousand times ten thousand stood before him. The court was seated, and the books were opened.

In my vision at night I looked, and there before me was one like a son of man, coming with the clouds of heaven. He approached the Ancient of Days and was led into his presence. He was given authority, glory and sovereign power; all nations and peoples of every language worshiped him. His dominion is an everlasting dominion that will not pass away, and his kingdom is one that will never be destroyed. "

Oh, how I long for that day! When true justice reigns.

Ocho

J is 8 months old!
Still such a joy, although teething has brought a bit of whiny-ness we haven't known thus far. He wants to be held quite a bit, but is getting so squirmy that it's quite the feat to hold him for too long! He is trying to crawl. He gets in the "push up" position and then starts kicking his legs and screaming a bit. Pretty hilarious. I'm not sure this mama is ready for a crawler, but we'll just cross that bridge when we get there! Percussion therapy has become a bit of a struggle. There are 2 positions he HATES and tries to squirm and kick his way out while crying hysterically. That will be interesting once he does start walking! We still have yet to see a pearly white break through those oh-so-painful-looking gums.
He's eating well, still loving solids (except tofu... mom fail on that one). We've made the decision to go entirely to formula. I know many of you would like to leave a comment about how I should stay with breast milk, but really, until you've been attached to a breast pump 6-8 times a day for the last 8 months (that's over 1,600 times, in case you'd like to know!) then you shouldn't say a single word! :)
He is getting more and more vocal and letting us know how he feels about things (lots of deep belly laughs, but also lots of little screams and fusses). He already has a great sense of humor, develops a new expression every day, and laughs on his own at something he thinks is funny.
Matt and I went to a CF parent's night out thing on Thursday of this week. It is great to get to know and talk to parents who are going through the same things as you. Also, Matt got to try on some percussion vests. Of course he liked the way it felt, "like a massage". Let's hope J thinks so too someday!
Anyway, thought you would enjoy a comic strip of what we have to go through to get J's monthly pic... hilarious!

We thought this pic captured his personality perfectly! :)

Happy Spring!!!