2 years

It was 2 years ago that we said goodbye to Craig, Matt's dad.
God proved Himself so faithful during his last 3 months, battling ugly cancer.
There are many stories to be told about God's goodness and providence during his last days, stories of heaven and peace and indescribable comfort. It's true that God gives strength when it's needed. Oh so true!
It never gets easier to talk about him and reminisce about the great family memories we made. Death seems so final when we think in earthly, right-now terms.
But so hopeful when we think in this-is-not-my-home terms.
Craig, you are missed. We know you're in a better place and we can't wait to see you again. xo

Our last family picture. There have been 2 new additions to the family since it was taken. Jason Craig and Sofia Morgan. Both middle names pay tribute to "Bumpa".

Sickie.

Well, today was spent baking and cooking. And working on HFL stuff.
It was a great day to spend inside.
Oh yeah, did I mention I also spent it cuddling a sick little boy?
Yes, J caught a cold. On top of everything else, a cold! That's 3 percussion treatments for us. I'm a little exhausted tonight.
Thank goodness His mercies are new every morning!
As my thing to share today, I'm going to link to the recipes I made from my new favorite go-to recipe spot, Skinnytaste!
I made Autumn Penne Pasta with Sauteed Brussels Sprouts In A Light Ragu
and Pumpkin Spice Cookies with Chocolate Glaze
I love when you're making dinner for a friend and you make enough for yourself too. :) 
Good day, stuffy noses. Praying for sleep for J tonight, and the cold to run its course quickly.

It was kind-of a struggle...

Matt played in a golf tournament for the CF Foundation about a month ago.
He called me on his way home and told me he had won 2 prizes in the raffle drawing. A 19" LCD TV and a certificate for 2 to paint at this new local business called "Painting with a Twist". I immediately looked up their website and couldn't wait to go! Matt excitedly gave up his spot as my painting buddy... although, that would have been entertaining for everyone involved!! My husband is many things: great dad, awesome husband, loyal, determined, competitive, but artistic? Not so much. (Don't worry, not bashing here, just telling it like it is).
A sweet friend of mine, Jessie, agreed to come with me. If there were ever 2 ladies needing a night out, I'm pretty sure it was us!
We had a great time talking, snacking, and joking with the other painters and the staff. It's a really fun place, if you have the chance to go... do it!
Here's a picture of us with our awesome paintings of The Delicate Arch in Moab.

And, if you're wondering about the title of this post, Jess was working on the mountains and it was obvious that the teacher thought she should do something different. He gave her some advice and at the end he said, "Look! It was kind-of a struggle, but in the end it was worth it!"

Jessie and I both decided that was a pretty good motto for our lives right now.
Remember how sometimes God uses Amazon to speak to us?
Well, sometimes he uses the paint teacher at Painting with a Twist.
With that quote, I've been dwelling on the following verses:

2 Timothy 4:7-8: I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing. 

Well, that's me. I long for his appearing. Time to fight that good fight. Time to jump back in the race. Time to get my faith back on track. And have a lot of fun along the way! Day by day...

The next one.

Well, so far so good!
My post streak is up to 2! I can do it.
I started a book this morning. And when I say started, I don't mean I read the first few pages and added it to my pile of "books I've started" so that I can add them to my currently-reading shelf on Goodreads. No, no.
I actually started this one. With the intention of completing it. Soon.
It's called "Made to Crave" by Lysa TerKeurst.
I found it one day while browsing Amazon during our CF house arrest last cold/flu season.
It popped up as "something you might like".
Yes, God even uses Amazon to speak to us.
As soon as I read the description, I added it to my cart and had it at my house in 2 short days.
That was in January.
I'm just now reading it. I've never boasted about being determined or motivated.
I read the first chapter, and wow. It has already rocked my world.
I highly suggest it. It dives head-first into what we crave. Physically. Materially. Emotionally. I'm guilty on all 3 accounts. I can't decide which one I struggle with more. Praying God uses this book to put a lot of junk behind me and help me forge a path of joy!
Here's a quote that is resonating today:

"Truth is powerful. The more saturated we are with truth, the more powerful we'll be in resisting our temptations. And the more we'll naturally direct our cravings where they should be directed-- to the Author of all truth. Cravings. Are they a curse or a blessing? The answer to that depends on what we're craving. And what we're craving will always depend on whatever we're consuming... the object of our desire or God and His truth." (page 24)
Pow!

Also, I'm a proud aunt today! Our 3rd niece was born... Sofia Morgan. Oh, we love her already! Congrats to Brady, Angie, Eva and Prisca!

The realization.

I spend a lot of time thinking about what I'm not.
There's a lot of time wasted this way.
I'm not organized. I'm not a clean-freak. I'm not a writer. I'm not an artist. I'm not a chef. I'm not always sure what I am. I'm not an awesome wife. I'm not a superstar mom.
But, I'm enough. Only by the grace of God am I enough!
One thing that helps me organize my thoughts and get through is to write.
I'm not a journaler. I'm not even a blogger. There, I said it!

I am a grower, though. Even when I think I'm not growing, I am. I'm tumbling and spilling over the edges. I can't guarantee what's spilling, but I'm hoping it's grace. I want to live my life day by day. As the title of this blog suggests.
When Jesus taught the disciples how to pray, he taught them this prayer, which as been labeled as "The Lord's Prayer". From Matthew, chapter 6. Verses 9-13. In the NASB for your reading pleasure.


"Pray, then, in this way: Our Father who is in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. 'Your kingdom come. Your will be done, On earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen"

 I'm not going to preach at you and pick out all the amazing insights this prayer teaches about the heart of prayer and worship. Not that my thoughts are completely worth sharing anyway. BUT I am going to point out the part that I so clearly wanted you to focus on. In case you missed it, it's bolded. And large.

Give us this day our daily bread.

That's where I want to live. In the now. Not in the yesterday, not in the tomorrow. In the now. Today. What do I need from Him today? Who do I want to connect with today?

So, I'm resolving. I was just telling a friend how I don't set goals. So, let's just not call this a goal. Let's call this a hope-to. A plan-to. I hope to blog everyday. About something. Nothing too pie-in-the-sky requiring lots of words and thoughts and study. Nothing too verbose (although, if you know me, it may very well be verbose some days). Just something for today. Day by day.
Maybe a link, maybe a challenge. A verse, a video, a photo, or a story. Just something to document today. What I'm learning, what others are learning, and how He's teaching.

Here's my first day.
A link.
To some great freebies from 'A Holy Experience'. You just need to click on "Free Gifts for You" at the top.
This is one of those blogs that you have to take in doses, or else you'll find yourself comparing and "I'm not"-ing. So, I spent a little time over there today and found these great links. With great printables and great reminders.
I'm grateful for writers sharing their thoughts. For artists sharing their work.
Give us this day our daily bread.

Catching Up.

Every time I think that I'm going to be able to blog more regularly, I fail again and the gap between my posts just keeps widening!
With the HFL auction over (very successful!) and my job with the school district winding down, I have found myself with more time to catch up on the things I've so easily neglected over the last few weeks. Laundry, organizing, deep cleaning. Did I mention laundry? I sure hate laundry.
It feels good to have nothing on my calendar today. Just a day to rest and get caught up. I might shower. I might not. I will probably eat cereal for lunch. Praying I don't waste my time like I'm all to fond of doing.
J had his big CF annual appointment on Monday. Things went so well. His doctor was just raving over his growth, his health, and how well he's done. She roped me into becoming a Parent2Parent volunteer at the clinic, which I happily accepted. It's something I've been eager to take on so that I can walk alongside newly diagnosed families the way we had someone do with us. I'm looking forward to it.
His appointment went so well, I was feeling all happy-go-lucky Monday night. You know, the "CF doesn't have anything on us!" type of feeling. Yes, we've had a few minor bumps, but they have been small and easy to handle. So, imagine my shock when the nurse called early Tuesday morning saying that they found some "markings" on his chest x-ray. My heart fell to my toes. This is the first confirmed lung issue we've had with J. He had Roseola last week and they think this is left-over from that. So, we started an antibiotic and will trudge back to Primary's in a few weeks for a repeat x-ray. They seem fairly unfazed by this new development and said they're fairly certain the antibiotics will clear out those markings. But, as I know all too well, the world of CF is just a little too unknown.
I would be lying if I said I took this news in stride. I'm trying to stay positive, because well, that's just what I do. Sometimes foolishly positive. I'm also trying to trust God. I have felt that old, familiar feeling creep back in over the past 24 hours. The feeling of sadness, doubt, and a little bit of panic. I know many of you reading this have been through or are currently going through things harder than this to deal with. I'm hoping that instead of comparing our circumstances, you can trust in a God who meets us right where we're at. In the middle of joy, grief, doubt and uncertainty. My head knows a lot about Him and keeps telling my heart to trust. That regardless of our lot in this life, He is still good and He will still use every minute for His glory. My heart has a bad memory. I want to say 'He will provide' but He may not. And I need to be okay with that. I want to say 'He will heal Jason' but He may not. And I need to be okay with that too. I trust and know that He is big enough. To provide, to heal, and to choose what's best. So I go with that.

I think the reason this is hitting me a little harder than normal is because of a funeral I attended on Saturday. I wanted to say a "life too short", but God is in control and this didn't happen apart from His sovereignty. A good friend of mine had a best friend who had CF. She was a beautiful girl, and was only 26. She succumbed to lung rejection after living almost a year with her new lungs. I was glad I went to the funeral. A personality like mine needs to be sobered every now and then. I was glad to go and honor a life that was lived so well. Her dad spoke, which was very emotional, and he talked briefly about her CF. He said it is easy to ask God why He would give someone like her CF. Someone who loved others, who lived fully, and loved fully. But, then he said something that will stick with me for awhile. CF made her that way. CF made her love others, live fully, and love fully. It formed her into who she was and God used it in her life to produce so much fruit. I sat and thought about what characteristics I want Jason to have. Determination, patience, love, joy, peace. Yes, most of these are fruits of the Spirit that God will form in him as he grows and knows Him more. But, how interesting that God will use disease and sickness to refine us and put His fruits to work.
I love that He exchanges mourning with dancing. And sorrow with joy. Only He could do that.
Finally, as a fitting end to this extremely melancholy post, I'm posting a verse that was read at her funeral by the pastor officiating it.


"And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”


5He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” ~Revelation 21:3-5