This is the life.

The best part about teaching? I found it today, maybe for the first time. It's not summer break. It's not all the treats and fun books. It's when a little boy says to his mom, "I'm not going to school today because that means I will have to say goodbye." It's when a little girl tells you she loves you more than anything and would give anything to flunk 2nd grade and stay for another year. It's reading a sweet note from a student telling you all his favorite things about the school year including chocolate math, giving appreciations, and extra recess. It's when a mom tears up telling you how much you have meant to her family and her child. I think that's why I teach. Another perk? This cute door a mom made for the classroom:

Love it.

Take me the Way I am.

There have been a few times in my life where the changes have been overwhelming. Finishing high school. Learning to live with a boy. Beginning my teaching career. But I'm not sure that any have been as challenging as the time of change I'm in right now. Not only are things changing around me, but I feel that my heart is changing and growing all the same. Adjusting into a new home, saying goodbye to dear friends, ending a sweet school year and saying goodbye to a wonderful group of kids is hard enough. But for the first time in my adult life, I feel like God is reaching into my depths and changing the way I see Him and everything around me. What if my faith is different than what I once thought it should be? What if "reaching the world" looks much more grassroots and organic than I was raised to believe? I know forgiveness and reconciliation look different through His eyes. I've always strived to live a life that I hoped was pleasing to my Savior, but for what reason?

I am changing and growing to realize that it's not about how many times I listen to Christian Contemporary to "lift my spirits". It's not about how many Sundays I make it to church. It's not about how many fellow believers I befriend.

It's about yearning for His word to refresh and fulfill my being. Meeting people where they are at, not so that I can fix them, but so that I can love them the way that Jesus would and does. Reaching out to my neighbors as much and as passionately as I desire to reach out to those who are oceans away.

Change is challenging and it's scary. I don't know how to do it, and do it right. I'm used to things coming naturally and this isn't. I don't know the best way to deal with all the external changes happening around me. I don't have much control. I want to make the most of the changes happening within me... but I'm scared that I will let it pass and chalk it up to the remember-when tally chart of my life. I'm afraid that I will let my perceptions of myself and my spirituality get in the way. I don't know if I can actually make it happen this time. How many times have I been here before? Waiting for God to mold me and change me but resisting His hands as soon as he cuts in to sculpt. I can only plead for the peace of Christ and rest in Him as soon as He shows up like He promises He will. Change is unknown but it is also inevitable... I hate that! :)

New Neighbors.

Along with the joy of moving into a new house comes the joy of meeting new neighbors. The neighbors in my cul-de-sac have all lived there a minimum of 15 years. Do they realize I was 8 15 years ago? Anyway. One neighbor in particular felt it was her duty to inform me about everything that happens in the neighborhood and all the "cul-de-sac rules" before we even started moving in. The de-briefing sounded something like this:

"Wednesday is trash day. Every other Wednesday is recycle day. That apple tree is the cul-de-sac apple tree. He sprays it, we enjoy the fruit. Your sprinkler system needs a little work. One of the heads leaks and makes a swamp in the front yard. You have a cherry tree (which you need to spray or else you will get cherry maggots [what!?]), a peach tree (which is delicious), and an apple tree. It should be sprayed every 7-10 days. The lady who used to live here wants her lace curtains back, is that okay? She was nice, but started to forget things easily so she moved to Pennsylvania with her kids. Do you have kids? No? Well, I see you have a dog! Oh, Scout? How cute. Scout, we have barbecues in the summer and you are invited! Maybe we will invite your owners. We are so glad to have someone in this house finally. Are you LDS? Oh, well if you were I was going to tell you where we have our church meetings. They (pointing to one house) have lived here 20 years and they won't hear you moving tonight, they sleep at the back right of the house. They (pointing to another house) have lived here 44 years and sleep at the back right of their house. They (pointing to yet another house) are usually up late, so late-night moving won't bother them. And we sleep at the back left of our house, so we won't hear you. We are going on a mission for a couple of weeks, so our son who lives in Springfield will be here with his dog while he has some job training. Just so you know. Welcome to the neighborhood!"

So much for figuring things out as we go. I guess it was worth enduring the long speech, she brought us yummy orange rolls. :)