Words

Hi everyone!
I am writing you feeling like a load has been lifted off my shoulders. I'm really a "yes girl", and find myself struggling to balance my priorities. I easily get overwhelmed and then wonder why! Today I quit my school district job. It was actually really hard because I just loved the people who I worked with, and let's be honest, I felt like I failed a little bit. I've never had to quit a job without the excuse of a college degree or the birth of a baby, so I wasn't sure how to go about it.
I wanted to be professional, but let's be honest, that has never really been a word that has suited me well. I sat down and chatted with the sweet girl who hired me. She has always been supportive, encouraging, helpful and complimentary. It was so hard to tell her this was just the straw that broke the camel's back. The job was really interfering with Jason's CF morning treatments, and I found myself struggling to be all things to all people. I was humbled by her gracious response, as she told me that she will support me professionally and personally in whatever ways I need. What a surprise, I feel so relieved and know now that I'm at my tipping point as far as work goes. I'm glad I know that now though, so that I can say no when I need to. I think maybe it's time for me to be able to do that anyway, without having a trial and error and failing a bit. Sometimes failure, or perceived failure, is really God's way of gently bringing us back to a place of reliance on Him.

So, on a completely different note, I've been convicted lately about my thoughts. Where do they lead me when I let them wander? Let me tell you, nowhere good. They lead me to a place of discontentment and discouragement and I end up questioning my marriage, my role as a mom, my friendships, my "am-i-enoughs?". You would think that I would automatically go to a place where I could meet with God and remember His truths about me. I am His. I am precious to Him. He loves me and wants to be with me. He is enough. That has yet to happen automatically, on my own. I always need reminders. So, I surround myself with His words. They are by my kitchen sink. On the bathroom mirror. On my nightstand, on J's nightstand. I literally have to put them eye-level, smacking me in the face, out loud. For those days that too often come my way. Days when I don't have the energy or, let's face it, desire to crack open the fresh words of God. When my stubbornness and selfishness seem more important than a real, convicting, encouraging truth from the one who made me and gave me this wonderful life.

How do you make sure to stay in the Word? Memorization? Bible Study? Thoughts welcome.