Top 5

I don't really have anything interesting or exciting to blog about, but a friend of mine texted me and told me I need to blog more. I started to think about what on earth I'd blog about, then realized my mind is really full right now. So, these are my top 5 thoughts right now.

1. Eating. Food. Blech! I am reading a book called Made to Crave right now by Lysa TerKeurst who is the president of Proverbs 31 ministries. Anyway, it's amazing. Challenging. Crazy talk. I don't like when people do what I just did. Raving about something that is so "ah-mazing" you can't live without it. Did I mention "life-changing" as being one of my least favorite terms? Well, you guessed it. This book is life-changing. I can't really describe it to you but she's speaking straight to me. Someone who has never thought of her addiction to food as being a hurdle in her walk with God. But, yes, yes it is. She's on this crazy no-carb-no-sugar diet which I started out thinking "I could never do that!" As I start to seek God further and understand how food can become too much of an issue, I now think, "that wouldn't be so bad!". I've been off sugar for 2 weeks and I can honestly say my craving for it is gone. Which is a really big and huge deal if you know me and my love for sugar. She challenges you to think about the "why" behind your food choices and well, I've lost 5 pounds since starting this book. Crazy! Maybe there's something to this whole self-control thing after all.

2. Eating reminds me about J's most recent clinic appointment. I had some major anxiety heading into this one. It was his first appointment since his hospitalization and my worst fear was that they were going to send us right back. J has actually been really healthy (lately) and doing well, it's just now a fear since the last one was a bit out-of-the-blue. Anyway, I knew going into it that his weight was not stellar. After his stomach bug and intestinal bacterial overgrowth bout that lasted the entire month of December, I knew it would be low. And, I was right! He weighs 23 pounds and 2 ounces now. Okay, I know what you're thinking. That's really not that low! In fact, that's still 20th percentile on those God-forsaken growth charts. But, in CF, the higher the weight, the better the lung function and we are all about lung function! So, we've started tracking his calories and making some crazy foods around here to get him to beef up. Interestingly enough, since I've started reading the aforementioned book, I haven't had any desire to eat his buttery, mayonnaise-laden yummies.
I made a smoothie concoction for him yesterday that was full of coconut oil and avocado (you can't really taste either, it also had mango and banana and oranges in it). Anyway, one 4 ounce serving yields 200 calories! Take that.

3. Speaking of fruit, I'm really missing summer food right now. Don't get me wrong, I love stormy and cloudy weather.. I just wish I could have perfectly ripe peaches and vine-ripe strawberries right about now. Yes, we're eating apples and oranges and bananas. Boring. Can't wait for summer and being able to walk over to the fruit stand and get a basket of melt-in-your-mouth peaches. Okay. My top 3 posts are about food. Onto something else.

4. You know how some people are hooked on TV shows that air at certain times? That's never been my thing. Sure, I'll catch an episode of some of my favorite shows when they're on, but I don't plan my day around it. But, I do get a little frustrated if I don't get to watch a daily episode of The Cosby Show or Drop Dead Diva on Netflix while washing the dishes while J naps. Seriously, that's kind of my happy place. Weird? Yes. Am I concerned about weird? No.

5. J's not talking. Really at all. He grunts, points, says "Ow" when he points at Scout and has a specific sound for clock (surprised?), but he doesn't do much talking. Yes, I can get myself all worked up about it. A really sweet and wonderful woman that Matt and I know is coming over this weekend to observe and give us some tricks and tips in working with him. She's offered to help us out a little knowing that I'm worrying about it some. She's a Speech and Language Pathologist and I'm so interested to hear what she thinks. Yes, he communicates, but come on buddy! He's also not walking, but I'm not so worried about that. I know he's able, just won't. He needs to find his confidence first and I'm okay with that!

5. See how I did that? Made a list of 6 into a list of 5 like the title promises? Pretty sure that's okay to do in blog world.
I visited a local church this past Sunday called Risen Life Church. I haven't been to church in quite a while and Matt encouraged me to go and visit with a friend of mine who goes there (since we're not taking J out in public, we aren't taking him to church right now). Anyway, the sermon was exactly what I needed to hear. Shocking, right? That God would use a sermon to speak right to my heart and make me well up with tears for an hour? No, not shocking. That's just how amazing He is. The sermon was about John 14 when Jesus commands the disciples,"Do not be troubled."
Am I troubled? Yes. About many things? Yes. I am troubled for J. For his health. For his non-talk. For my friends facing some extremely challenging circumstances. For some precarious situations that can arise. For balancing life well. For oh-so-many things.
But, the only person who has the right to be troubled is Jesus. The one who has the right to bear our burdens and commands us to trust. Not to worry. Not to be troubled. Easier said than done, yes. But, I'm working on it. Physically placing my thoughts and burdens right onto his shoulders. That's all I can do.