1. Life is precious and God is sovereign. Period. Whether life exists only in the womb, 2 days or 90 years, each life is precious and planned by God. He knows our days, nothing is out of His control. Too many times I think I've equated sovereignty with wrath, but that's not at all what it is. Of course I struggle with the fact that horrible things still happen, but I know that my viewpoint on them is extremely limited, and that someday I'll be able to see things the way He does. That doesn't mean I can't grieve and I can't feel things, I'm created to do so; it does mean that my circumstances cannot shatter my world and cannot take away my reason for living.
2. I can't know complete joy this side of heaven. I've struggled with this for awhile, and admitting that is actually really freeing. I have a personality that wants everyone to be happy. I've hidden tears from my husband so that he won't feel sad. I've answered "how are you?" with "great!" too many times because I didn't want people to be burdened with my sorrow. But, let's face it, it is impossible for me to feel true and complete joy in this earth. Here has been my path of happiness:
"Once I'm out of high school, I'll be happy... once I'm married, I'll be happy... once I'm teaching, I'll be happy... If only I could go back to college, then I'd be happy... once my house is decorated the way I want it to be, I'll be happy... once we have kids, then I'll be happy... if only we could buy a new car, then I'd be happy..." And, it never ends! As long as I'm searching for joy outside of the One who created it and embodies it, it's going to leave me searching and wanting more. Of course I see glimpses of joy, I am not a depressed zombie walking around because "I just can't be happy here...". I find joy in being wife, but not all the time. I find joy in being a mom, but not all the time. I find joy in my firendships, but not all the time. The glimpses of joy I get here are just that: a tiny speck of the joy that I'll know someday.
3. God's plan is bigger than me and my family. I know, shocking. He's allowing me to be a part of His plan. In an article I read for my Perspectives class, the author made the point that we focus so much on individual faith in America. What God's plan is for me, what He wants for my life. We say, "God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life." But, he challenged that by saying, "God loves His Son and has a perfect plan for His life, and He loves me enough to let me be a part of it." Oh, if only I could always see things this way!!
If you've read my blog for any amount of time, you know that my preaching is now done and I probably won't post anything deep like this for another, oh, 3 months. :) I hope that what He's taught me can somehow be used in your life too.
And, to end it, a few verses that have described this past year perfectly... Psalm 139:1-18
You have searched me, LORD, and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue, you, LORD, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.
You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.
Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.
Love you, friend! Good post!
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